Stop Fulfilling Expectations

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men… Colossians 3:23

“Why did God send me here?”

“How can the mission be fulfilled?”

“Who am I going to do this mission with?”

“Why do I feel so alone?”

“Why me?”

Suddenly I was clueless. I know that I have answered these questions already but because I have felt like a failure these past few months I feel as though that I have chosen to believe that I do not know the answers to these questions. It seemed that I am complaining about it already. And because I felt helpless to move forward it seemed that the only way to stop asking is to escape reality and shut down from everything around me.

There were moments recently that I am not fully aware of what is happening around me or perhaps I do not care about it. I just want to run forever and end this anxiety. For real. All of a sudden I did not think that I am the right fit for this. That I do not know what else to do. For these very reasons, I sort of wallowed into sinning and listening to the lies of the enemy.

“you are useless…”

“you are filthy…”

“you are ugly…”

“you are alone and lonely…”

“you are not going to make it…”

All these lies are believable in a way, recently, with the things that I am experiencing it seemed to be fitting hearing these lies.

With all honesty, there are nights that I wanted things to end. I am thinking that I might not wake up the next day.

However, I am still here writing this one. Therefore, I still have a purpose. Upon contemplating though, I realized that what made it hard for me to face every day is fulfilling the expectations of other people about me and about the ministry that He has entrusted, also it was hard to live up to my standard, it was foolish of me to think that I might not make a mistake again.

I have forgotten that everything is about grace.

Anyway, this sounds heavy, like what I am going through right now is hard but it is nothing compared to what Jesus Christ went through. So even if there are difficult situations I will keep going and I will move forward because God’s plans are bigger and greater.

And in a way, I was reminded not to live under people’s expectations. Just like what the verse is saying I should do everything for God and not for people.

If you are supporting the ministry here, know that I won’t give up until the mission is fulfilled. Until a church is planted, until a community of believers is established.

I told you those things above because even though I am a missionary, I am not excluded from the trials here in the mission field. The enemy wants to destroy me but I thank Jesus that He came to give me life and have it to the full.

By the way, I now live in a studio-size room outside the school where I am teaching.

THESE ARE SOME OF THE PLANS THAT I HAVE IN MIND WHEN I START DOING MY FULL-TIME MISSION.

1. To open an English class ministry to young people in the afternoon for free, with a program of reaching them out and teaching Jesus.

2. To open a FOOTBALL ministry to young people every Saturday with a program of reaching them out and teaching Jesus.

3. To create a discipleship group from ENGLISH AND FOOTBALL ministry.

4. To create a teaching video content that will not just cater to a certain school in Cambodia but all the students here. The content will be teaching English and at the same time sharing the word of God. I wrote a book also, so I will try to market it to some of the learners on that platform. 

5. To create a devotional content that will cater Cambodian people. I wrote a book also, so I will try to market it to some of the viewers on that platform. 

PRAYER CONCERNS

1. To be able to do a part-time job in the school.

2. To have a partner in the ministry that will have the same vision that you gave me.

3. To find a house that is cheap to rent, with a space that will serve as a classroom for teaching and a church for the service.

4. To renew my passport, to enable me to extend my visa.

5. Good Health and Wisdom.

6. Family’s Safety and Salvation.

7. Peace and Intimacy with God.

CURRENT MONTHLY EXPENSES

1. Room Rent – 45$

2. Water and Electricity – 40$

3. Life Insurance – 50$

4. Food – 50$

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men… Colossians 3:23

Published by Lukru Adam

Hi! My name is Adam. I am passionate about teaching and seeing students getting connected to Jesus through the lessons and conversations that I have with them.

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